new words

Jeff and I are always on the look out for new, ridiculous words that we can use with one another in our charming-but-annoying-if-you're-not-either-of-us way. Case in point, our pet names for one another; it might surprise no one that in the private confines of our home, I don't call him "Dirty Love Monkey" as in, "Come here, Dirty Love Monkey, I'm all squishy and need some attention." What we do call one another is typically "Poopie" or "Poops" while "Poop Stinky" is typically reserved only for me. It's adorable, I think.

In the meantime, several words have entered our vernacular as of late, mostly thanks to reality TV and other TiVo'd gems we've had the good fortune to be able to witness. Why we would appropriate words synonymous with vagina and actually use them is beyond even us, but you know, when the right word fits, you just don't fight it.

Cookie - (noun) Picked up from Kelly on last week's Amazing Race 4 after she had to ride an elephant through the crowded streets of India. Apparently the spine of an elephant is very close to the surface and after riding one between your legs, it causes genito-urological discomfort (Kelly to Jon: "My cookie is going to be sore for a week after riding this thing"). Our appropriation went something like this, "Good God, is that your cookie? Roll down the window when you do that!"

Choochie - (noun) From some HBO documentary a month or so ago about the return to Hooker Central Avenue somewhere in the Bronx. They interviews this dirty skank of a hooker who was explaining how she had to tell a john to use lubrication because, "Oh poppy, my choochy's so dry." Jeff and I either use the entire phrase as a means of filling up the long silences between conversations ("Hmmm..the river seems to be down a little bit.......oh poppy, my choochie's so dry.........Do you want Boca Burgers for dinner tonight?") or as a way of dissing chicks we don't like (from an e-mail this morning: "...the reason David barfed after he porked Amanda on camera probably had a lot more to do with her being ugly and having a dry choochie than anything else...). It's not right but it's the way of the world.

Shzuzsh - (verb) - From "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" Episode one, where Carson and Kyan are explaining to Butch not to leave the house without checking in the mirror and "...shzuzshing your hair one more time." I was standing at the mirror this morning getting ready to go up stairs and Jeff wanted to know if I shzuzshed. I had shzuzshed just prior with my Physique hair care leave-in conditioner and felt confident enough in my shzuzsh to leave the bathroom and get dressed.