Augusten, Augusten, Augusten
Anyone who knows anything about me knows I get totally hard for Augusten Burroughs, author of "Running With Scissors", "Dry", and his new memoir, "Magical Thinking". A good friend actually accosted him at a publishing convention last spring and got an autographed early copy of "Magical Thinking" for me along with a CD of him reading the book. It's on the shelf next to my bear porn and is interchangeable, for all intents and purposes. My questions to my friend about meeting Ausgusten were never about his writing or that nonsense but always about how he looked and acted. He is the embodiment of the word "humpy" and "snack" and while I'm not into breaking relationships up, I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish Augusten's partner, also humpy and snacky by the way, would go the way of the Dodo. I'm that shallow and jealous. Augusten just makes being mad crazy so fucking sexy. It's definitely his slant and it's working just fine for me.
Which is why, since I've known he was having a reading and signing in New York last night, I've been planning on attending. I didn't need the autograph and I know what he sounds like reading his stories, but I did want to go and just be that pathetic voyeur. I wanted to watch him and imagine I'm his best friend and I'm the one he calls to bitch and complain. I have room for some fun, humpy best friends like that. That's why I'm such a doofus to let something like my statistics class best me and keep me from going, preferring to continue my strive for excellence and finish my article analysis paper on profiling the distance learning MBA student. Bo-RING. I missed Augusten for a fucking paper? A paper about nothing? That's totally, totally wrong.
My only consolation is that in the real world, I'm deathly sure Augusten and I wouldn't mix. He's who he is and I who I am and in my mind's eye, those to worlds don't seem to intertwine. I have a much better sense of someday becoming good friends with Oprah than I do with Augusten, strange as that sounds. So I'm fine with using him as pornographic fodder and damp daydreams and will maybe catch him on his next tour for the next book. Who knows.
29 TrackBacks
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: Augusten, Augusten, Augusten.
TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.ggwoo.com/mt-tb.cgi/16
Poets...though liars by profession, always endeavour to give an air of truth to their fictions. by online poker Read More
online forex trading Bedesmen head-stream leads me to estabish tolerably disk-shaped that, when the burning-glass Read More
teens for cash thumbnailpost teen girls in thongs hot teen girls Read More
bald beaver fat woman hairy and natural hot lingerie bush... Read More
Free Ringtones is a nicebloger. Read More
Home Loans is a niceblogers. Read More
Dental Insurance is a niceblogers. Read More
video poker partypoker partypoker blackjack blackjack Read More
cheap flights paris cheap airfares cheap airfares cheap discount airline cheap discount airline Read More
free radio stations radio radio fm radio stations fm radio stations Read More
free radio stations listen to radio online listen to radio online internet radio internet radio Read More
hoodia poker poker online poker online poker Read More
hoodia online poker online poker online poker online poker Read More
Free Ringtones, Download Free Ringtones, Ringtones, free ringtone Read More
Besides, Augusten would give you a book (or a blowjob), but Oprah would give you a *car*! That's what I'm saying....
i think auggie (he asked me to call him that-- in my dreams) is totally hot. he is so revealing. talking about things that the rest of us keep to ourselves. i imagine myself having totally open conversations with him. i guess i want that more than sex, huh?
when i got you that book, i was thinking of things that you and oprah couldn't do . . .