Why I shouldn't be left home alone.
*format stolen from someone’s blog because it was too perfect to pass up for this event.
Vanity: Holy Shit!! Are you kidding me with this? How can my hair look this bad after I just got it cut and relaxed?
Beau: I know, I know. Totally fucked out of $125 to look like this.
Vanity: I’m embarrassed to be seen with you. It hasn’t looked this bad since your 7th grade school picture.
Worry: What will people think? Everyone is totally looking at us.
Beau: Jesus….I know, I know. We need to consider our options. Probably can’t get another appointment until next week and that’s a whole weekend of Harrisburg in-laws for the holiday with this. I’m just going to wear a hat.
Vanity: No. Way.
Spontaneity: Ahhhhhhhhhhh. I’ve got an idea. Where’s Resourcefulness?
Beau: Resting from the day at work. He’s around someplace.
Spontaneity: We need him. We’re cutting our own hair tonight.
Vanity: Say wha?
Beau: Huh?
Worry: Oh good Lord.
Spontaneity: Find Resourcefulness and Beer. We’ll take care of everything.
Beau: How bad could it be?
Worry: Bad bad. What if it looks WORSE? They’ll be no correcting it until next week and then you know Pride is going to jump in and not let you go back to that hack and force him to give you a better cut.
Vanity: But my God…we’re going to be around a shit-load of people this weekend. What to do, what to do.
Resourcefulness: Got a beep…whattsup?
Spontaneity: Grab Beer. We have work to do.
Beer: I’m here.
Spontaneity: Bring friends.
Worry: I don’t even know where to begin. I need to go find Fear.
Beau: I’m totally out of this whole thing.
Ten minutes later:
Beau: Hmmm….
Vanity: Hmmm….
Worry: I’m not even looking.
Spontaneity: We should bleach it white. Wouldn’t that be cool?
Worry: Oh God.
Beau: I’m thinking we’re done for this round of being left home alone.
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OK...that "before" pic cannot possibly be real! That hair looks like something you'd order from the Eva Gabor Wig ad in the back of an old National Enquirer. Specifically a little number she designed called "lite n'airy" Thank GOD, for the little voices in your head!
See, John, I was thinking that it looked a lot more like the old Little Rascals shorts...can we say "Buckwheat"? Good Lord, Beau, that was really bad. Much nicer now.
Beau, stop sticking your fingers in electrical outlets.
That before hair cannot be real. No, no!
And whatever you do, don't bleach it white. These days, that's like having a ponytail on a guy when he's 40. ;-)