May 2005 Archives

Two weeks ago as I was racheting up my anxiety level and trying to make myself feel better about all the outside stuff I wasn't going to be able to accomplish this year, I thought the very least I could do would be to fertilize the grass to bring that healthy, verdant glow of summer to the house. I was able to get a liberal application on right before it rained and then feeling as though I'd done something good, I promptly forgot about it to make room for P/E ratios and bond valuations.

Then last weekend Jeff and I jetted back to Ohio for Cousin Ben's wedding where we got to squeeze on Neice Allison, meet new Cousin Cole, and have a group picture taken which meant the grass got left to its own devices while we were gone. This is what we came back to yesterday.

Bonnie got me with the book meme. And she's right: I have all kinds of time for this so here goes:

1. How many books have you owned in your life?
I've never really counted but I'm sure I have somewhere in the neighborhood of several hundred...probably closer to five hundred. All my selves are overflowing now.
2.& 3. What's the last book that you bought and read?
I'm putting these together because I read the last one I bought. "Lives of the Popes". Cliche and obvious, I know, but I was caught up in all the Pope-la these past few months and wanted to know more about them. I'm really looking for the book about all the bad, evil Popes now.
4. List 5 books that mean a lot to you.
All time favorite book is "Virgin Suicides". Then I break out into Antrim's "Hundred Brothers", Hoffman's "Practical Magic", King's "The Green Mile", and Lamott's "Traveling Mercies".
5. I'm going to save the tags up and redeem them for inappropriate naked blogger pictures.

Yep, still really hating finance.

I thought when I got promoted to director of my office that my traveling days were done. That is pretty much right but I did manage to get invited to a database conference in San Francisco the first week of June. This is a cool thing except I'm so embroiled in school (facing the possibility of getting my first non-A, fuck, fuck, FUCK) that I can't really get into the joy of it yet.

I've never been to San Francisco and don't really know much about it or what to see so if anyone has any suggestions, I'm easy. I'm a good, dutiful tourist (Alcatraz apparently is the must see) but I like to get off the beaten path a bit too (I have this romantic notion of seeing all the famous spots from Maupin's 'Tales of the City'). Anyway, I'm looking for the San Francisco treat if anyone knows where I can find it (and a good, cold bottle of beer, to boot).

Since everyone essentially thinks I'm blogdead because I've basically alienated them either through sheer apathy or totally ignoring them, I can understand why I don't get invited to participate in memes anymore. Still, a girl likes to think she might get invited to the popular birthday party every now and again. So since no one tagged me, I'm tagging myself for the Caesar Meme:

[and yes...I'm TOTALLY self-sabotaging myself by thinking it's much more important to self-meme then, say, do my last three bond-valuation problems for Finance. Word.]

Said meme takes its name from Mel Brooks' A History of the World (Part I), and, upon receiving it, one is supposed to list five things that one's circle of friends or peer group is wild about, but that one can’t really understand the fuss over. Quoth Caesar, "Nice. Nice. Not thrilling . . . but nice."

1. Lost. Blame it on my incessant, bordering on almost obsessive-compulsive nature that by missing just the pilot episode of a show, it's complete ruined and off-limits for me because I'll be hopelessly lost in terms of character, plot, and storyline, but there you have it. I do intend on watching the thing when it comes out on DVD but I can honestly tell you, there is NO. WAY. the writers can wrap up what I understand to be so many subplots, in any believable or rewarding way. Red herrings suck as a Deus ex Machina.

2. Scissor Sisters. Ruin "Comfortably Numb" and I just won't have it. Sorry.

3. Blackberry phones. I own one and my work email hasn't been migrated over to Exchange yet so I'm not really totally connected but I'm positive that nothing good can come of it. Also, after texting "tikes" to someone today instead of "yikes", I can find no earthly purpose for text-messaging other then to keep me from being bored between meetings.

4. Blog flavors of the month. What is this, 2002?

5. Umm...I guess that's it. I'm totally into everything everyone else is.

And, because I'm self-meming, I'm not tagging anyone else, either.

For anyone who hasn't followed my incessant bouts with insomnia over the years and wondered why, as a health-care professional, I didn't self medicate, I have this to say: the better half of our gruesome twosome is an addiction specialist so how stupid would I look getting hooked on the juice? That being said...

About two weeks ago, when I was just starting my long, accelerated burn into uncontrollable manic-anxiety over Finance, I coaxed myself into several midnights of reading and problem-solving but with a six-thirty wake up call the next morning for work, the only thing I could think of was to take some Benadryl to get some sleep so I did. And slept soundly until the alarm went off the next morning (and consequently, woke up with a dry nose and unclogged sinuses so whadda ya know, I have allergies). Not to ever pass up a good thing, I've been taking Benadryl now every night and sleeping clear through undisturbed.

Of course no one gets addicted to Benadryl, but the fact that I have been sneaking them for the last week so Jeff didn't find out (but like, duh, he knew anyway) does kind of indicate my guilty conscious is growing psychologically dependent on them. Or at least that's what I've talked myself into so last night I opted to go Benadryl-free just to prove that I could.

Then in a fright after a night of tossing and turning which really revved up into high-gear when I started playing footsie with the kitty under the covers, I caught a wiff of the foulest, most purulent stench that really shouldn't have come from any living creature on God's green Earth. In my semi-sleepy haze I instantly deduced that I'd scared the kitty so bad by playing footsie that she'd completely shit herself at the end of the bed under the covers. Knowing how anything of this nature sends Jeff over the edge (though the kitty hadn't ever done anything like it before), I was considerate enough to manically shake him awake screaming, "The kitty shit in the bed! GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!" while trying to untangle myself from the sheets while not getting cat-dookie smeared all over us at the same time. And the stench kept getting worse every time I lifted the covers. Strange how that happens.

Jeff meanwhile, used to my early morning crazy talk, sort of rolled me over and told me it was OK and to go back to sleep. I argued for a second about the kitty poop but he just patted me and told me to go back to sleep which I did all the while saying, "That's not right. It just isn't right at all".

It was this morning when we got up and I had flung back the covers sure to find a well-smeared pile of cat crap that Jeff admitted the vanilla shake I'd mainlined into him at dinner the night before really didn't agree with him gastronomically and it was very possible, while not finding the conclusive poop really anywhere under the covers, he'd just ripped a foofie that I caught wind of.

And so I'll say it again: That just isn't right. At. All.

Oh boy. I thought I knew hate well. Like, I hate hemorrhoids and putting my contacts in backwards and I also hate morons. But today, I can unequivocally say, I know true hate.

I fucking HATE finance.

I remember when this started happening to Encorswish a few years back (Don't bother looking for that blog, it's now the homepage for Encorswish Soap products for dirty, filthy pig boys...so I guess, not so different from when Chris was running it, really). He was well entrenched in his graduate program and his postings, which I lived for, were coming fewer and farther between and getting shorter to boot. This last six months has been exactly like that for me and I'm well aware of it. I'm in my Finance term now, ending the Triumvirate of Economics/Accounting/Finance which is the make-it or break-it of my MBA program. After this summer of a few e-business related classes (which rumor has it are like cake-walk after the Triumvirate), I start in to the final nine months of my actual health-care management program and that will carry me to the end next spring.

But I'm here now though only just. I've resigned myself that the garden is not getting put out this year (and conceivably not next year because my last class doesn't end until Memorial Day 06) but something has to give and since work is actually financially supporting me to be able to attend classes and since my degree is going to support my ridiculous salary demands next year, I can live one more year without getting my hands dirty beyond quickie window boxes and flower urns.

That's my monthly update, big people of the Blog.