I think we're in a pickle, dick.

Jeff's one request for the garden was to grow cucumbers. Odd, I know...and somewhat suggestive in an almost dirty way. But I'm game and since I absolutely drew the line when he also asked for corn, I thought it was the least I could do to put out a few cucumbers. He's overall goal, though, was not cucumbers per se, but rather, the infamous and highly sought-after Stein Family Pickle Recipe that everyone talks about but which no one, apparently, has ever written down. Jeff recalls Aunt Kitty's pickles the way someone who smells a pine tree recalls a favorite, perfect Christmas.

So part one of Summer of Pickles was to get some cucumbers up and running. Like the problems with the tomatoes and peppers, I had to buy them in multi-packs so the idea of only putting out two or three cucumber vines turned into putting out eight. And somehow, by last count, two more have spontaneously generated from God knows where. Anyone uninitiated in the ways of vine-bearing vegetables should know that ONE vine of anything: squash, eggplants, zuchini, etc. is plenty. Two is enough to put some away for a cold, winter's day. Eight (or ten) is just ridiculous. Jeff didn't quite grasp this when I sent him out to the garden to count all the little yellow blooms covering the vines. He wanted to know why he was counting them and I said, "because you're going to have a cucumber for every one of those blooms." He now has some concerns.

As there are many ways to skin a cat, there are as many ways to make pickles. Typically canning can be employed as well as just throwing them into crocks with a brick on top (if you can find crocks anymore). Jeff's family's recipe, while written down now, is vague and carries the even worse warning about doing anything wrong that would make the pickles soggy and soft as well as being unflavorful. Apparently no one should even bother attempting them if you're going the way of soggy. I've never made pickles one way or another, preferring to buy my bread-n-butter stackers from Vlasik, but who am I not to take on a homemaker's challenge like making and putting up pickles. So I've hired the great lady up in our neck of the woods who was canning and preserving from before she could walk, to come and teach us all she knows about pickles. She also has a family recipe she's willing to share with us so I think this is going to be a win for everyone.

And here is one of a gazillion baby cukes on its way to making us Pickle-licious.