Oh God...here I go again

I was doing some shopping today because even I'm fed up with my lack of style and how schlubby I always feel I look, unless I'm in my crappy black suit at work which is on it's last legs as it is. So of course not having any business in Bloomingdales, that's where I end up, somehow quickly swept into the multi-leveled men's department like so much jetsum on a river. I'm deposited, quite by architectural/marketing flow, into the very white, very minimalistic Hugo Boss area.

I have no business being there, because it's an actual designer's name I recognize and if they are such a brand that even I know who they are, then I can't afford them. This is a very true fact. Somehow this space/time continuum maze in which I took a half an escalator down when I first walked in pooped me out a whole floor above where I started. Bewildered, I stumbled into the DKNY section. As with the Hugo Boss thing, I know I shouldn't be here. But I spot the half-lenth black overcoat I've been looking for. And it is GORGEOUS. Soft yet formed perfectly and exactly, exactly what I want. It's a super-sophistocated coat that fulfills my lust for a pea-coat but with more class. Of course the $800 price tag all but makes me throw up a bit in my mouth. Can that even be right? Can that even be not a little bit out of my range but so far out of any reasonable sense of responsible material consumerism that I start thinking about how mis-marked it must be? And then I look at it, closer. I look at the lining a bit and the seams, rubbing the fabric inbetween my fingers. I look at the inside tag and find it's some kind of badonkadonk wool...and then this:

"I could probably make one of these for myself, couldn't I?" Only to be followed with, "It's just a spot of sewing once you find the right fabric."

I'm so fucking fucked on this one. I mean, come ON.