02.09.05
New insomnia
I woke up tonight/this morning from a dream I was having where I was unceremoniously thrust into the position of having to make a speech to a gathered group of work-people who I don’t actually work with in the waking hours of my day, to say nice things and thank their boss for bringing the collected group of people together for a fun work-related lunch. Of course the anxiety of the dream was that I was unceremoniously ignored by the tables of people who were talking and eating over my welcoming speech. Then I woke up and found 20-pounds of cat laying between my legs and couldn’t readjusted my bad knee for comfort so I thought, “Fuck It”, I might as well just get up and go do something productive.
The general rule of thumb for me is, anything between 3:30 and 6:30am can’t be that productive because I’d rather spend the time asleep anyway. But when all else fails, I do my best. I was able to get my weekly summary done for Economics which I’m getting ready to start the final week. This is all very good news as I’m glad I did not chose economics as a vocation. Though thinking on that particular idea, what difference would it have made? I’d be up at 3:30 in the morning worrying about the right shifting aggregate demand curve as it applies to increasing inflation instead of medical billing compliance in research. Tit for tat? Six of one and half-dozen of another? Yes, I think so too.
So as the good insomniac that I am, I started tracking my recent internet purchases. The replacement iPod I ordered yesterday is still somewhere in China and the new digital camera I bought is somewhere between St. Louis and Newark. And then that was done so I thought about doing my taxes but Jeff and I did those this past weekend using TurboTax and so that was done. Then I read through all my blog list and confirmed what I’ve only recently discovered: I loathe a majority of the bloggers on the list. I read them because they’re living train wrecks and I have a wicked streak of shadenfreud. It’s a guilty secret of mine but it’s true.
And now it’s 5:20am and I need to be up in an hour to start another hellish day at work where I’ve recently learned our office is to be a part of the bureaucratic cog in the machine of clinical research (and here someone else who loathes me will get a shot of shadenfreud themselves). I’d think about climbing back into bed but I see the 20-pounds of cat have moved up and are now in the warm depression I left when I first got up so I guess it’s me and the couch for now. Shadenfreud, shadenfreud, shadenfreud.
Anonymous said,
February 9, 2005 at 9:13 pm
“I read them because they’re living train wrecks and I have a wicked streak of shadenfreude.”
I just renamed one of my Mozilla bookmark files “living train wrecks,” thanks to you–it replaces “guilty pleasures,” which never really captured WHY I read blogs from people who make me shake my head in bewilderment and sadness.
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